His Arms

I haven't really posted much detail about our annual January fast. As I've said before, God met us during that fasting time and it was by far the most breathtaking January we've ever had.

God not only spoke to us with such love and patience and grace, but also with defining clarity. Just as He promised He would.

Although the calendar month of January is over, we are still seeking Him and thankfully He is continuing to clarify more and more for us.

Tonight my sweet four year old wandered in from bed, still mostly asleep. I scooped him up, but Mr Daniel came over and took him. There was an immediate relaxation that flooded Rocco. He nestled into Daddy's arms and buried his face in the crook of his neck. Arms and legs gave way to sleep. Daddy held him tight and secure and toted him back to bed.

I watched him walk down the hall with our little man. I thought of how I felt every time my Daddy swept me up in his arms. How wonderful that strength and security felt! How comforting the scent of his cologne in the crook of his neck. It was home. It was familiar. It was safe. It was trustworthy.

I watched him walk with this totally surrendered four year old. I thought of my God. I thought of how He has repeatedly called us to rest during our fast. A rest that is synonymous with trust. I thought of how He is asking me to allow Him to scoop me up and take me there- to rest. He is asking me/us to relinquish everything we know. To give it all up and take these massive steps.

I am reminded of how sweet and safe and strong and comforting His embrace is. I am reminded to be childlike in my faith by simply trusting and letting go.

I am reminded that although the vision He has set before us is too big for us to accomplish, He is still my Father. He has and won't call us to anything that He hasn't equipped us for and planned to walk it out with us in full.

I am reminded that even in the worse case scenario, if everything failed and fell apart - He is the one that can bring beauty from our ashes.

Although He is calling us to God-sized things and we may feel it is too risky, there is really no risk but the risk of self.

Self. What we are called to lay down continually in His service. So in truth there is no real risk in service to Him.

In Him, with Him, by Him, through Him I can do all things.

We approach this upcoming season with excitement and honestly, anxiety. Excitement because our Spirit man knows Him. Anxiety because our self can't comprehend how any of it is possible.

So here we are trying to stay in His arms, resting, trusting, rejoicing, and knowing Him more. His word is our manna and His spirit our drink. Let us not grow weary or complacent but let us hunger for more of Him so that we might cast out more of this self and fill it back in with Him, Abba Father. Faithful One.

Friday Night Special

Wish you were here to join is in "Safety Dance"

It's Friday night and normally that's family night with dancing etc. unfortunately Dad is at work again tonight... But we are keeping things going here.

Please note Safety Dance is probably Rocco's favorite.

Make sure you dance a little every day.

The Beautiful

Many times a day I look at these miraculously beautiful faces. I wonder how I have them. How was I bestowed with so great a treasures! Some days I do need to be reminded.

I marvel that God still creates. Life is His to create. I marvel that we are allowed to participate in.

This Magnificent Creator of ours still creates and moves among us. He still allows us to bring forth and to influence. He still allows us to touch and hold and care for His creation. His spoken word. His words with "skin on".

His words are so powerful. He issues them and life begins. He issues them and provision is. He issues them and waters part. He issues them and walls fall, and nations tremble, and glory fills.

He still walks and talks with us, His creation... If we will stop and listen, stop and commune, stop and dwell.

The beautiful is housed in these little children. These innocents. These spoken word creations who enjoy life. They giggle and play and dream. Hope is automatic and endless. Joy is their bread and Trust their water.

Oh to be childlike and shuck off the mess this world stirs up. Oh to trust Him. Oh to dine on His Joy and be fed with His word and soak in His presence by simply being open and honest and pure of heart. A pursuit that takes years to remember.

The older we get the more we realize how much of this drama and conflict an challenge and filth is so much of nothing.

Why does it take us so long to give up our self serving quest and surrender to Him fully?

He knows this fault in us. He called us to be childlike

"I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.” (Luke 18:17 NLT)

He knew we'd need reminding.

You'll probably find the beautiful in your back yard like I did today. Squealing and laughing, cartwheeling and swinging, digging dirt and eating a bit too. Covered with rainbow Popsicle goo and saying, "I love you."

Find that beautiful innocence again. Trust fully and deeply and joyfully in all your endeavors and do them all unto Him, the Creator of the beautiful.

Little Foxes

You know little foxes come in many shapes and forms.
A simple call
A sports competition
A Facebook post
A harsh word
The lack of a word
Gossip circulating about
Lies told
Hurting people hurting other

So often it's painfully obvious who or what the fox is. However, many times they sneak in... That word spoken innocently begins to burrow through heart and head corridors slowly stripping walls of resilience. Joy reserves intended for strengthening are consumed with heart weariness as we "mull over" those distractions.

All those distractions pull our focus from The Truth. From the One who knows all, sees all, rights wrong, protects His beloved. Hiding under His wing provide protection and safety from word arrows aimed at cutting us off mid stride.

Pulls from our resting spot. That place where we meditate on Him and dwell on and in His word. Pulling us out of that place sets us in full target range.

Target of the enemy. Target of those still untouched and transformed by His pure grace and mercy. Target for those professing but not dwelling.

To not be a vulnerable target we must be deep rooted. Our vine must penetrate deep into His word and that growth must be constantly tended to.

For the vine grower, one season of not tending their vines can take up to two, three or more seasons to get a vine back to full growth production. Weeds, fungus, parasites, sun scorching, poor watering, lack of nutrition all spoil the vine and to recover a vine that has been spoiled takes time.

My parents used to have a vineyard. It took many years of digging, planting, watering, feeding, and pruning to get the vines at full production. After selling their property we saw what one season of foxes can do to years of work. After one season left untended, their entire vineyard is a field of dry vines, tall grass, and abundant weeds. It's a good hiding place for foxes.

Tend your vineyard. Keep the foxes at bay. They will come. They WILL come. Don't allow them to ruin the work of the Lord in and thru you. You can be repaired, but the process to strengthen is a process of time and great effort. It takes time to recover a lost vine. It is possible. It is tedious.

So when the foxes come run them off! Be aggressive about protecting the work of the Lord in you. Be diligent to root yourself deep in the word. A hearty vine withstands more.

Lord help me today. Well meaning words have been trying to invade my vine. Hateful words have led a full on attack. I battle it out in my mind. My heart is grieved. I'm fighting to focus on You Lord and give these things no place, I am so challenged in that endeavor. Lord come to my rescue and help me. Amen.

and then there was the dance...

Some days are just hard. Today was. Sometimes there is no pulse to put a finger on why, it's just hard.
I fought a downcast heart today.

My beautiful Proverbs 31 mother called me to check in, I hung up after a brief but encouraging conversation and tears flowed. I may be a grown woman with babes of my own, but still long to be near my mom and talk with her and let her reassure me as she faithfully always does.

My babies asked why I was crying, I told them I missed my mama and loved her so much.

Fast forward through a rough afternoon, frazzled exhausted mama, and the hustle of life's demands.

Everyone Finally gathered home after dance lessons et al. After dinner and after the evening bible stories and prayers...
My daughter asked if she could do a dance for us, a soft slow dance just for her family.
Dad agreed to let her dance for Jesus and her family. The music began and I watched and wept as my six year old lover of Christ worshipped and danced for us. Soon the four year old and 19 month old joined in in their own way. The dance was lyrical in style but reverent and worshipful in heart.

She ran to my lap where I sat with tears flowing and burst into tears. The boys promptly left the room as we held each other and sobbed.

She probably repeated her verbal message to me no less than 5 times. Here was the message in random order.

I love my family so much.
You all are in my heart.
I danced so you would know I love you in my heart.
So my heart would tell your hearts that I love you and Jesus.
That God put us together and all I need is my family.

Then she looked straight at me with those hazel eyes. She spoke, but the message came from far far behind those golden glimmering princess eyes. The words came from her mouth, but the message was from someone else... She was simply a dainty messenger with an open heart.

She said, "God made you. God made you to be my mommy. I love you so much. You are in my heart."

Her repetitive messages continued. I cried harder. He shared His heart to me through one beautiful child's open receptive heart. He shared His heart through His heart in her. The message was clear. I was remembered, loved, and made. Uniquely made in divine depths for such a time as this. For such gifted annointed little ones like this tiny wonder.

My day had been thick molasses and rough uphill terrains. I had failed an fallen and repented more than once in this day. Apologies had been offered by this broken momma but my heart knew I had hurt little hearts and failed and te whole thing made me question if I can do this. Could I be as gentle as they needed? As patient as they needed? As forgiving or loving or fun or creative or anything else that they truly needed.

I cannot. I am not enough. I never will be. Thus the need for relationship with Him.

This is where my amazing godly mother comes back in...
She taught me her key to motherhood.
Swiss Cheese.
It's a prayer offered repeatedly most every day this mother lives. The Swiss Cheese prayer.

"Lord help. I have left so many holes me gaps in this day and I know I have left holes. Holes in the day, in my time, in my responsibilities, but painfully most of all I've left holes with my children. Where I could not be enough mentally, spiritually, physically... Lord God Almighty, Maker of all, please fill in the gaps I've left."

Tonight I'll be praying it again with thanks added. This gifted worshipful daughter of mine is so amazing and a beautiful reflection of Him because He is filling in those Swiss cheese holes I've left.

The day was really rough
And then there was her dance. Offered in grace, pure of heart, surrendering, and turning this mother's downcast face up to the Lord.

Selah.

Rivers of Faithfulness

Its been literally months since we've had significant rain. I lay in bed now listening to rivers pouring from the eve of our roof. 

I'm encouraged. I am reminded.

Today Rocco asked how he was made. I said God made you, but he wanted to know exactly how. I told him one day we can ask Him for specifics. I said that God speaks and things come in to being. I said that I suppose God said, "let there be Rocco!" and then there was. This only slightly satisfied My little learners questions.

God speaks and things just simply are. They become life. They become real... They just are. His word NEVER returns void.

I am His word spoken and His breathe in action. 

How faithful is our God?!?!

His purpose divine and every action and choice of His with eternal multifaceted intent. Faithful One. One who speaks truth and life. Who sends glorious rain on dry grounds so that long planted seeds might be nourished and fortified and prepared for a magnificent awakening!

Isaiah 55:8-13 NLT

""My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts. "The rain and snow come down from the heavens and stay on the ground to water the earth. They cause the grain to grow, producing seed for the farmer and bread for the hungry. It is the same with my word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it. You will live in joy and peace. The mountains and hills will burst into song, and the trees of the field will clap their hands! Where once there were thorns, cypress trees will grow. Where nettles grew, myrtles will sprout up. These events will bring great honor to the LORD's name; they will be an everlasting sign of his power and love.""

See it at YouVersion.com:

http://bible.us/Isa55.8.NLT

This scripture fortified most of the 31 years it took for me to meet my groom. Here it is in pure liquid form singing a song above my place of slumber. Singing me to sleep and reminding me...

He keeps His promise

He knows my heart

He waters the dry one

to a bursting spring song

He remembers

He alone is ever faithful

Hot Tea

Hot Tea… perfect any time of year, night or day. I love to wrap my fingers around a warm mug – it’s soothing.

I’ve just boiled water in my favorite kitchen gadget… the electric hot water pot. Instant hot – lovely!
I pour my steaming water in this favorite earthenware mug with a bag of Earl Grey tea.

I think of where the children are to make sure they are not close at hand. Hot water burns.

I think of it steaming here… valuable in it’s place, dangerous when misused.
Everything has it’s own place. Preempting His plan and timing to get what I think ought to be… disasterous… worse than the scald of the hot water out of the pot.

Hot water on the bag… brown currents flow

Scent rises

Mouth waters

Warm exudes…

It’s right. It’s good. It’s proper.

 

I’m lessoned in my cup today. I’m reminded that good things in the wrong place are made wrong. Good things in the right place are sweet and savory.

This life I lead cannot be about me. It just cannot be. I become dust and the “about” of me fades with no value.

The life lead in worship and sacrifice to Him… it is permanent, eternal, a sweet.

Let my life be a cup of warm to comfort those that hurt.

Let my praise be a sweet fragrance before Him.

Let me bring joy to those that partake.

 

Rocco, my four year old… he’s hit the 19 month old in the tummy. Little man has tears flowing.
Time out mat instigated. Frustrated Momma.

The same lesson just different scenario.

Rocco why?

“Cuz I want my own way.”

That’s not what this life is about. Now what this household is about.

Tears flowing… “It’s about Jesus!” He cries.

He knows the truth but battles his flesh daily.

Every challenge with my children is just a gonging symbol to the truth of my own inner life.

This battle that many generations before me battled… and those after me will continue to battle.

The self battle. Relinquishing self and letting it be about Jesus.
Trusting Him as Soverign and worthy.

Admitting to the dirty rags of self.

The battle continues still within me.
Rest He says. My heart knows its truth, my head still fights it… truth be told I keep trying to make my life about me. Unwittingly, habitually, in need of rescuing … Still in need of Him leading.